Friday, November 28, 2008

An Ending or a New Beginning…

The Beginning of an End, or the End of the Beginning
It had not struck me till that moment that I was actually entering the 12th standard, and more so as Head Girl of this one-of-a-kind institution. Right then, when we started packing to move to our new house, for “official reasons”, I realized what it must feel like to leave something that you have been a part of, or something that has been a part of you for so long, for fourteen years actually. Fourteen years, the same duration of time that I would have spent in this amazing institution as I will bid farewell next year. Exactly a year ago, in May 2007, I believed that I would be leaving FAPS for a pre-university college. But here I am, by some twist of fate, about to start my final year at FAPS.
Is this the end of the beginning of my life? The part of my life that I spent learning, only learning, not just school work, or the set syllabus, but lessons of life. This has been the part of my life that has prepared me for the rest of my years. Is it then true that my life is about to begin only when I step over the threshold of this protected environment into the “real” world? Or is this the beginning of an end of a phase of my life? The end of the years when I’ve been taught, been nurtured and been cared for not only by my parents at home, but by my teachers, the parents of my second home? How do I look at this situation? Should I be happy that I’m finally becoming an adult, shedding my immature, adolescent years behind me and moving on like a growing snake does when it can no longer fit into its skin? Or should I be sad and depressed that I’m leaving behind so many people and things that matter to me so much? When I graduate next year, will it be with tears in my eyes and a smile on my face? Or will it be with just tears in my eyes?
I sat looking out from my 3rd floor balcony onto a scene that was so familiar to me. If home is where the heart is, then come this Sunday, I’d be far away from my home. And a year from now, I wouldn’t have a home. But is it not possible to begin to love a new place, while still holding close to your heart your roots? Can I not move on from FAPS, a proud Fapsian, ready to take the world on head first and make my mark as every true Fapsian does? I can! If I’ve learnt only one thing from this institution, it is that Courage is Destiny. I have the confidence and the skill to make my future, make my destiny. Though not just yet, I have one more prized year left here.
Looking at the little kids playing in the park, as I once used to, in my apartment, I feel a pang of jealousy. The sight of my juniors who have years ahead of them left here arouses in me the same envy. They have what I soon won’t, years ahead of them that are filled with fun and learning in FAPS. But I console myself with the thought that I’ve been taught everything and more that I could have asked or wished for. I’ve had the most fun only during school, never in the summer vacation or any other holiday. I’ve experienced all that I could have possibly experienced; barring what is to come this last year!
I will step out of school, a young lady cultured and bred by the finest school in the whole of India. Confident, outgoing, smart, kind, helpful, compassionate and as a leader, I will enter the world alongside my friends who are just like me, yet different! In our diversity lies our unity. We will always be Fapsians at heart, emulating the qualities we have learnt from the example set by our Principal, Headmaster, Headmistress, all our teachers, our seniors, juniors and our peers. I know I am lucky, lucky to have been admitted to such a school, full of life, joy and contentment. I’ve had life-enriching experiences, been corrected when I was wrong and been given due credit for achievements, in and out of school. These years of education were the beginning of my life; I will not start afresh, but build on whatever I already have.
As I leave behind this house, so dear to me, and a friend of seven years, I know that though I will not have this house to live in, I will have my friend by my side. Just like that, I will have the spirit and soul of FAPS with me as I leave behind my second home to move into a world, undiscovered and unknown to me.
I am part of the blessed group of students, I am a Fapsian.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Hello Stranger

Blogger's note: I'm really not a poet! but well... I try... Comments are entertained... critical ones please! Though don't tear apart the rhyme scheme, I have to work on that!!


Hello stranger, how've you been?
How've you done those darn exams that get under our skin?
Hello stranger, it's been a while,
We've both been busy, both short of time.
Hello stranger, the phone just rang,
I wanted to hear your voice, but all I heard was noise.
Hello stranger, drop me a line sometime
I miss our conversations, our quality time.
Hello stranger, I wasn't in school today,
Did you notice? Or wonder why I was away?
Hello stranger, there's no pressure on you,
I understand your burden, what you're going through.
Hello stranger, your phone's out of order,
I tried to reach you, but the phone lines didnt bother
that I miss talking to you, it's now important to me
that even if I have nothing to say, I still say whatever I feel.
Hello stranger, I saw you at school,
amidst all that tension, I looked to you for cool.
Hello stranger, how's your mom,
Is she still worried that your girlfriend's the bomb?
Hello stranger, what about your father?
Any more late night convos? Or lectures, rather...
Hello stranger, won't you take five
and give me some time to talk tonight?
There's a lot to share, so much to tell you,
I need your advice on what I'm going through.
Hello stranger, its too late to call.
10:12 isn't a decent time at all.
Hello stranger, I console myself
one more week of tension, then we can spend time
just talking, or saying nothing at all,
studying or trying to, or catching a movie to take a break from it all.
Hello stranger, I flicked this from a show -
"As told by Ginger", but not the whole,
only the "Hello stranger", I liked that part:
Ginger wrote it to her father, whom she missed a lot.
This is to my friend and though I call him stranger, that's only because I know that there's so much more to him that I am yet to discover,
so much more of me that he is yet to uncover,
and this seeming gap is but a phase,
a three-week long distance so that we dont lose our way.
I hope my friend isn't too overwhelmed,
but I never want to have to call him "stranger" again.

Friday, April 18, 2008

DLF Indian Premier League

I've always been a cricket fan, mostly influenced by my dad, as he has been a true fan and enthusiastic player of this sport for most of his life, starting with street cricket ofcourse right upto cricket with his daughter, aka me, in our apartment! Ofcourse, i've always supported India, being what I consider is a patriotic Indian (and this extends to other things too, not only cricket, though I do believe in a Global Family, although that is something to talk about in other circumstances!!)
So naturally I had mixed opinions obout the DLF Indian Premier League when i first about how it was to be conducted, with players being bought by different teams irrespective of where they were from. My first reaction was one of disgust, that they would make cricket a trade, like football, saddened me! (Sorry football fans, being a die-hard cricket fan, its only recently that I've begun to watch football and actually enjoy it!! And I used to have a theory that any true cricket fan hated football and vice versa... this was recently disproved though!). Then when I began thinking about it, it actually seemed like a good thing, for many reasons.
Although it had become a trade of sorts, with prices being fixed on the heads of the players who are more-or-less worshipped as Gods here in India (okay, its more of a bidding system, where the highest bidder gets the player they wanted!), there is something good about that factor. It puts all players who've chosen to be a part of this League on par according to their talent and experience, barring the 'icons', Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly, Rahul Dravid, Yuvraj Singh and Virender Sehwag. Sure, maybe the motive for IPL is money, but the underlying intention is good. Amazing exposure for Indian newbies, a common platform for a whole range of cricketers to improve their skills, even if its only in 'twenty-twenty's, which is the more popular form of cricket in today's fast paced world! Also, more cricket for the crazy fans!!
Ofcourse the obvious drawbacks are overly worked cricketers, chances of earlier burn-out due to too little time off the field and politics within teams because of fee differences. But all of these can be overcome, and are being!
Having said all of this, I was largely ignorant about the teams and their "sponsors" until a few days before the day of the grand opening, right here in Namma Bengaluru. I looked at a few of the teams official sites and decided that since I've been living in Bangalore basically all my life, it made sense to support the Royal Challengers Bangalore. And I do admire Rahul Dravid and Anil Kumble, and Zaheer makes it to my top-5 favourite bowlers list! Jaques Kallis, Mark Boucher, Chanderpaul, Wasim Jaffer, Nathan Bracken, Misbah-ul-Haq, and Abdur Razzak... somehow these players made the very line-up of the RCB seem impressive, and I was slowly pulled into the vortex of the IPL waiting eagerly for the first match of the season, and first match ever of the IPL.
Due to unavoidable events, I missed seeing the inauguration, which i read about though, in a post online, put up a mere 2 hours following the opening! But that seemed kind of slow considering the technological developments we have seen recently. The "lung-opener between Bangalore Royal Challengers and the Kolkata Knight Riders" was to begin shortly after the grand opening ceremony 8 p.m. Local time, well... IST!!! In this ceremony the IPL and the BCCI ofcourse got all praise from the ICC, and apparently the BCCI hoped that the fans would continue to maintain their interest in the league! Talk about confidence...
I was rooting for the home team to win, and one would expect such a result considering that the Home team had all the advantages!! Talk about false expectations. In my opinion, 3 + 1 records of IPL were set in one night that will be hard for any other teams to beat this season.
1} McCullum's smashing 158 of 73 balls
2} the Kolkata Knight Riders score of 222
3} RCB's humiliating 140-run defeat in 15.5 overs
+ 1} The number of mis-fields and stumbles by just the RCB team!!
Though no bets there, since who knows what this amazing team RCB can do in the upcoming matches. We don't have to look too far back to see an example of our Indian team coming back after a humliating defeat. Maybe RCB will follow that principle. Or they may continue to play as badly as they did here. Who knows??!!
It all depends on the players they select as their 11! I didn't get the logic behind leaving out Nathan Bracken in the first match of the season and there are so many other un-answered questions! But that is for the team to know, and me to speculate about. So we'll see if they'll make adequate changes and practice a tad more before their next home match on 26th Apr... long time away in one sense, right upon us in another.
A new era of cricket began when T20s began. The IPL is just another step in this direction, just like the T20 world cup. As a cricket fan, it is important to be able to change with time... because small changes are happening constantly, like the 'free-hit'. Although I prefer good old ODIs, I think I'm going to enjoy the IPL. I am, after-all, a true cricket fan!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Humans... Choices...

How do you judge a person? Is there some mechanism to find out what a persons character is really like? "There's no art to find the mind's construction in the face"... Oh! how true is that!
Some people are good at figuring out a person's real intentions, but there are silly little girls like me who either can't judge, or who judge too soon.
People change, sometimes for the better... but how does one who has known them before distinguish the change. After all, man is the master of deception. It could all be an outward facade hiding sinister intentions. On the other hand, a guy who is a compulsive smoker and slightly alcoholic may actually have a good heart, but may be forced into doing something against his will. Though of course, i don't believe in that... in the sense that, Everyone has a choice, to do the right thing or the wrong thing... and as it was emphasized in Harry Potter, it's the choices that make the man.
Then why do people choose to do the wrong thing ?Do they get a thrill out of breaking the rules? maybe! Are their brains affected clinically? I doubt that. Or are they just weak-willed? That i believe is the main reason for succumbing to things like peer-pressure. Why is it always that a guy becomes a drinking, bearded "devdas" if the "love of his life", his "jaan" leaves him? I don't get it? Maybe a few of those couples were actually in love, but if the girl has left the guy then its obvious that it was just a one-sided thing right from the start, or somewhere in between!
Again we come back to the question of how do u figure out what a person is thinking? I mean that maybe the girl in the aforementioned relationship was leading the guy on, cos she was too scared to admit to him that she didn't in fact love him!
It is only Homo sapiens that has this kind of trouble. Maybe with having a more complex mind and brain, and with advancement and development, a higher price is paid. But wait, we know that fact for sure. I mean, by urbanisation, look at the problems created in this world, right from population sprawl to global warming to spread of deadly diseases. And urbanization is just one example!
People care. People don't care. :
People care about their well-being, fame, fortune etc etc. People don't care about global health, consequences of their mistakes and basically things that don't concern them. But that's where people are wrong! Anything that is a global concern, is a matter of worry for all individuals. Do you think that by being the richest man on earth, or the most beautiful woman, when the final and inevitable destruction of the earth comes, you'll be saved?? Not a chance in hell!
I use the word inevitable lightly, because in reality, the destruction is not inevitable. It is quite avoidable in fact! We just have to begin looking at the bigger picture... at things that are important. Mass education... or rather, Mass awareness is what we need. And frankly, we've made a few good positives strides in that direction. But the thing that has to be gotten rid of is Mass Indifference. And that's not something a government or an international organisation can just get rid of. The people, the public, and especially, the future generations of the world, have to forget this feeling, and not inherit it! The future has to care... not only for their well-being, but for the well-being of the world.
It is a choice again... Whether you recycle the soda can or dump it in the trash. Whether you turn off the light when you leave the room, or let it stay on, you're paying for it anyway! Whether you refuse the plastic bag, or accept it and re-use it, or accept it and dump it without a second thought. Everyday we face choices like this, small things that may seem inconsequential now. But many small seemingly inconsequential acts add up to one large, gigantic problem, or solution, depending on the act! Everyone knows that they face choices, they know the right choice, but are too damn lazy and too damn selfish to make that choice. They go to conventions, join groups trying to preserve the earth, preach what they don't practice and listen to instructions and lectures taking them in through one ear and letting them out the other, without retaining a word! Isn't it high time that we stepped up and became proactive.
There's a lot to life that we wont see or enjoy if we don't take remedial measures and force or rather coax our elders too. After all, all of this is what they taught us. They chose to pass on their knowledge (and i dont say wisdom cos wisdom is something you gain from experience) to the younger generations saying its too late in their lives for them to do anything! But is it? What if they live to be a 100 yrs old, the the 50-yr olds who passed on the responsibility had enough and more time to fix atleast his mistakes.
Using light and candle as metaphors for good deeds...
"It is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark
Better far that you light, just one little candle, all you need's a tiny spark"
".. if everyone lit just one little candle what a bright world this would be"

Are we really good people? or is that our exterior?
Do we do the right thing because its the right thing? Or do we do it for fame and recognition?
Do we want to show a system that its wrong, and so start doing wrong things ourselves?

Isn't it time to get our priorities right? Isn't it time to push our way through barriers of "fear of being different" set up by the many generations before us and actually break out of the norm?

The essential question is:
Are you one of the mindless zombies who do things that the crowd does?
Or do you dare to be different?

Monday, December 24, 2007

A Night to Remember

It's that time of year again, when music is in the air, happiness in the heart and all the sweaters and blankets have come out of the dusty closets! Yep, it's Winter. It's Christmas time. To any FAPS band senior member its means just one thing... "Carolling". The night of the 21st was the appointed day, 3 pm the appointed hour (to be in school), though in true band style, everyone was assembled by 4! The "Merry Carollers", as Taru Vijay put it, consisted of - NS and Mr.Meakin; Anil, Deepak and Kavya on the Trumpet; Arkal on the Cornet; Mohini and Indu on the Trombone; Tarini Srinivas (Tarini) and Tarini Vijay (Taru) on the Euphonium; Arvind on the Tuba. Our first stop was Little Sisters of The Poor, Home for the aged. We played in the dining hall, just before they ate their dinner. We played the usual Christmas Carols - "Jingle Bells", "Joy to the World" ........ "Silent Night" and of course, "We wish You a merry christmas". Anil and Mohini had a sudden fixation for Silent Night (I really dont know why)!! Taru was asked to give a speech, that became a standard line as we went from house to house. She said, ' on behalf of the Frank Anthony Puublic School, we would like to wish you a merry christmas and a very happy new year, and wish to see you next year'. Instead of saying "we look forward to seeing you next year" Taru said, "we wish (or hope) to see you next year" which does not have very nice implications in an Old Age Home! Ofcourse, with NS, Mr.Meakin and Anil and Arkal around, nothing was gonna be forgotten! Instantaneously they pounced on her and started laughing!
Next stop, Mr.Boye's house. There after playing, we got our first wine, after Apple juice and 'kalkal's and Rose cookies. There, Taru said, "On behalf of the Frank Anthony Public School...", although even Mr. and Mrs. Boye are a part of the school!! :P
We then stopped over at Mrs.Ramachandran's (Mrs.Nair) house - Ranka Court. Ginger biscuits were the treat there. The whole family listened in, and Roshan was the main subject of discussion!
Mrs.Cabral's House - Adorable Mrs.Cabral was as sweet as ever. 'Kalkal's here too. and Ginger wine, that was really good, a little throat burning types but really good! Plum cake for everyone.
Mohini's House - Wine, Punch, amazing Bread Rolls, chips. And lots of really cute pics of the family with Santa Hats on, including their Grandad.
Jennie's House - Cake (that had been specially bought for us), and chips and soft drinks. It was treat in itself to see Jen, Jo and Jessie. Poor Jo is really sick with some Viral infection, and has been for more than 3 weeks. There wqas no current, so we were going to play by candlelight, but it was too dim to read our music, so Mr.Meakin held up this emergency light thing for us to play by.
Somerset Apartments:
Ramya Mallya's House
- wine, chocolates and food that we couldnt eat because we were all a lil full already!
Some party - we played to a crowd of about 25 who were gathered in one house for a party, including Sherwin, Christopher and Pranoy. They even sang along with whatever carols they knew. Plum cake
Akshara's House - (Her room is really really really amazing, the best i've ever seen!). We played carols, and then Aks took Taru's Euph and played with us. We played Short Episodes, messed it up a lot, but still had fun with it! We then ate lot of pizza, had a lil Sprite and Coke and a few good Guyllian chocolates. (yum!) It was i think about 12 by now... the time is very fuzzy cos i was having too much fun!! :P A lil misundertanding took place, but what's carolling, without controversy!!
Mr.Meakin's Sister's House - Jamun Wine! Plum cake. A very very cute baby girl - "Joanne". Mr.Meakin's niece. We spent maximum time here because NS was having such a great time.
Mikhail's House - Wine, soft drinks, Liquo (pron, Likyo) - some kind of drink that we found out after drinking it conc, that it shud be drunk with something! Mo got a litte "head-spinny" on it!! good cake too. There was dog there that would just not keep its paws off Tarini. It was hilarious, she was stalked by the dog!! We found out there that we couldnt go to Amrita's or Tara's because both were asleep.
Arpana's House - At 2 am we reached Arpana Alexander's house. They were all sleeping. Tarini was supposed to have called to wake her, and though she called, no one answered, because, as we found out later, Arpana had put the phone on silent instead of loud! Arpana played with Tarini on Taru's Euph. Some homemade Christmas delicacies!
Anna's House - Anna's brother was too fast asleep to get up even for the loud music of the band! Anna didnt play with us, she just stood and enjoyed! Awesome food - little pieces of bread with amazing toppings on them, like pizza flavoured. (I ate so much of it!!)
Smrithi's House - The last house on our agenda. We reached at 4 am. Manu was there too, which was a surprise for us, especially pleasant for Arvind! We got these awesome cutlets, for veggies. They were lovely. And Smrithi's room was really cute... purple walls and yellow cupboard door, and so many medals, and a really cute collage of nice pics!!

From there we dropped off, Mo and Taru; Arkal; Deepak; Tarini; went back to school dropped off all the stuff, Arvind walked; Anil; Indu; and last Me. Mr.Meakin then dropped NS off at a place where he could pic up an auto, and went home.

In the van throughout, the girls sang as much as we possibly could, and the guys just laughed!!

What a night... It was one-of-a-kind!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A Musical Bonanza...

Blogger's Note: This is a special blog, written on request! Hope you like it! though it's more about Rodrigues House than anything else!

The most awaited event of the year for all FAPSians in the inter-house Music Competition. This is so for a number of reasons, the most obvious of these being the fact that it is the last inter house event of both, the calendar year and the academic year, and the 10ths and 12ths have only Prelims to look forward too after this. For the others, the third term is a very boring uneventful term compared to the 2nd so we enjoy this event to the max! For me, music competition has always had special significance, because I love music in any form! Having taken part everyyear since my 6th standard, i was more than familiar with the procedure of preparation for this event. This year was a little more special for me in two ways, being Vice Captain for Music along with Tarini, we had a role to play in organizing the whole thing along with the Music Captains and NS, ofcourse! Also, this year Rodrigues house was more or less in the hands of Prashanthi and me, our captains, being very busy with their Phy projects and the likes.
The competition was scheduled for 14th December, 2007, a mere 7 days after the last day of our Second Term exams, that ended on 7th Dec. Ah! that week of preparation is always full of tension, ego-clashes, sparks and if we're unlucky, spats and tears. The first few days are never hectic, we all imagine that we have more than enough time to complete our preparations. So the weekend passed with little or no practice, except for D'mello House who were very clever and very dedicated! Come monday, the tension began to build. Our first priority was getting good singers, and we hadn't even been able to hold proper selections. So we spent some time on making sure that our singer weren't tone deaf! Then we had to choose a song for the 'Indian' category, which proved to be a very cumbersome and time-consuming task. After we came to the conclusion that most of the Rodrigues House guys could not sing really well, we figured that we might as well pick some really simple song and try and jazz it up a bit! So we decided on "Koi Mil Gaya" from Kuch kuch Hota Hai, much to the amazement of the other houses. I'm sure they laughed at the folly of our choice!!
Our carol was not much of a problem. Having Amodh on our side, we figured some traditional carol would sound best, but our bright idea was scorned at by sir... He gave us a carol - "Torches", something no one had heard of before. In theory, a very simple piece. Without Prashanthi singing alto though, we would never have had a chance! Now came the question of Western. We should have been smart like Corbett house and picked something that we knew, and we could teach. "Lookin out my back door" was the piece assigned to us, a mere 2 days before D-Day. With much difficulty, we learnt all the songs. Unfortunately one very imp detail that we forgot to consider, was costumes! We finalized the costumes only the day before 14th!
In between all of this, we had to take selections for Open Event. The very fact that we had to take selections for an "open" event makes it clear how much of competition there is for this particular category. There were 30 aspirants of which we were allowed to choose only 6. It wasn't easy. And although we were completely fair, it was most of our friends that got selected. Well! we cant help it if our friends were the best singers in school! After much deliberation and debate, we settled on the final 6. 2 of them, clearly stood out, but one refused to sing, because she did not have the minus 1 track!
The big day dawned cloudy and cold, and we were expected to be in school before7:30 am! We didnt get much done in the morning, Rodrigues house had just one practice. I'm not really sure about the other houses, because I spent most of my time writing out the scoresheets (the order of houses) in the Music Room. The Trophies, fresh out of being polished, looked brand new and had an amazing silver shine!
The competetion, scheduled to start at 9:30, began very late, at about 10:15 if I remember right! Anna gave the opening speech, well, a little too fast. But you can't blame her, she was nervous. We had a very special guest with us, former head girl of FAPS, actor (Chak-de India), Anaitha Nair. Nope, no snobbishness around her, she was just your typical FAPSian, as Zubin put it very rightly, a little later!
The order of Houses was as follows, Gidney, D'mello, Corbett and Rodrgues - going by the order in which we all placed the previous year. As tradition holds, we began with the junior school groups singing two carols each, trained by their teachers, Mr.Daunt and Mr.Fabian. NS was giving what we called "a running commentory" between houses. The comperes did a great job as usual, with Shane and Jolly Jr entertaining everyone for Rodrigues House. Smrithi and Krishna, for Corbett, but Zubin and Naquia did a little bit just before the junior school part! Maggu and BD for Gidney; and Khanna and Pooja for D'mello.
Indian Solo followed this. With Soda representing Gidney, DK representing D'mello, a 10th std girl who's name i didnt get representing Corbett. And a sweet little 8th std girl representing Rodrigues!
Indian Group turned out to be very interesting, with Gidney screwing up pitch majorly and then getting back on track, D'mello lacking a bit life, Rodriuges totally dead, and Corbett simply amazing!
Western Solo - Taru Vijay for Gidney, Jyotsna for D'mello, Jennie for Corbett, Shane for Rodrigues.
Western Group, nothing much different here. Gidney wasnt bad actually! acc to reports, cos I didnt here them. D'mello was great, Corbett even better and us - well, I'd rather not talk about it. I wouldn't know where to start, with the horrible tempo change, or the even more horrible Altos.
Carol, i think, was the best category for the houses. Rodrigues wasn't bad at all, Gidney - didnt hear them :( D'mello was great, but Corbett blew the crowd away! and all of us too. They were unbelievable!!
Open event - most awaited!! Grace and Dileep - didnt hear them :( Tara, with a lil voice training, she's the next Madhuri... amazing! except for a few notes, but that was cos of her cold. Zubin - wow! but not as amzing as selections - there he really shocked me! never knew he could sing so well!! Dominic - the finale... we sure saved the best for the last! creme de la creme! i swear.. what a voice. Still a little trouble jumping octaves, but anyone'll have trouble with that. He was brilliant.
Vote of Thanks - moi!
Prize Distribution - aah! Corbett took like a clean sweep... except Indian solo. Everything else was theirs. Prizes were given out by Anaitha, with Mr.Boye reading the results. As usual he made a little "mistake". "2nd place goes to Rodrigues House" cheering in the crowd, but a little muffled. becasue of shock, " OH! I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I read the wrong heading.. It goes to D'mello House"!! anyway...

As tradition holds, we went to Corner House after much time-wasting and celebrating in school. And as we were leaving, the 12ths entered!

Oh! It was Ramya Mallya's birthday, and the 12thies did their special birthday song thing!!

There are plans brewing for another fun day out! hopefully, it'll be as great as we hope!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Words...

"You're not a parameter I judge myself by"

One simple un-thought statement caused so much pain. And I didnt even realize this until a week after I said it. If I were to justify myself then I would say that I was in tensed because of my exams. But nothing could possibly justify what i said. And he certainly did prove me wrong, He did turn out to be a parameter for me to judge myself by. I never knew that I caused the pain in the first place, but I should have. And the sad part is, that I probably won't learn from this, and I will just go ahead and hurt someone all over again. Is there a way to learn from this kind of thing?
I am apologetic, I do regret. But I don't know how to express this feeling! I don't want to bring it up incase i just go on and say the wrong things and hurt him more, but I do want to make him understand that I stand corrected.

Mistakes are sometimes hard to fix... Words sometimes get stuck in one's mouth... Words sometimes come tumbling out of one's mouth in a rush, too fast to stop, and things are said that are later regretted