{Blogger's note: This is just a little something that i wrote. The following piece of work is purely fictitious. Any resemblance of any person in this to anyone dead or alive is purely coincidental. The events that are described never really took place.}
There he was again. Surrounded by his little 'gang' of followers. Well, they couldn't be called anything else, because they did practically worship him as their God. I don't think he was ever alone. He must have even had a group to accompany him to the Boys' room! And the worst part was, it seemed as though they were having the best time of their lives, laughing their heads off, and lungs out; faces all smiles. There never seemed to be a dull moment in the group or rather, gang! To my own disgust, I was actually curious to know what went on there. It irked me that my friends were such wannabes when it came to him. In the sense that, "I wanna be in that gang" or "Don't you wanna know what they're talking about?" - they'd ask me. "Yeah! right", was my eternal sarcastic reply. But in my heart of hearts, i knew that it bugged me that I was so left out,so out-of-sync! As i had never been!
I thought it was wierd that he, who had come into our lives only two months ago was so popular, whereas I, who had been with them for practically their whole lives, was such a, well, such a "nerd". It had never bothered me that i was the nerd of the class, but now it did. But I did know why!
I've always had strong opinions on popularity. It's a very simple equation. The person who does worst in class, who is the most ill-mannered and worst behaved, and the one who always craves for most attention, is the one who gets attention. The well-behaved, doing-well-in-class types were the nerds, like me. I had always known this and never cared. Because I knew that I was not a shallow person who cared about looks or surface appearances, but one who cared about what was inside. And this little so called equation of mine never seemed to be balanced. Why was it that the worst kids, in my eyes, were the best in others'? Then I came up with a theory for this. A few students of the class did really well and a few did really badly, but the majority of the class was in the middle - average. This majority never liked to compare itself to the ones who did better because obviously they wouldn't feel very good about themselves. So they compared themselves to the ones who did badly, and derived some pleasure out of it. Then, when the ones who did badly put-down the good ones, the average ones tended to join in, to get solace for themselves. It was a wierd theory based on wierd interpretations. In my mind was a stereotype - anybody who was popular was dumb. Period. All of this was shattered because of him.
I never really interacted with him, being in a different section. And I was quite sure that he wasn't aware of my existence, and that suited me just fine. He must have been really stupid because he was so popular. I never really wanted to find out, but i automatically grouped him into the "plastic, dumb popular" group in my mind. Then came the fateful day of the quiz. That horrible quiz that still comes to me in my nightmares. It was one where about 14 students from my school took part, me being one of them. We were to be paired up into 7 teams of two for the written preliminaries. To my utmost horror and greatest disgust, I was partnered with him. HIM, of all people! The assigning of partners had been our student co-ordinator's job, who was 3 years senior to me. In my rage, I walked up to her and screamed in her face, "How could you pair me with him? HE IS DUMB. I'm going to lose with him as a partner. I cant believe it. I refuse to take part..." and so on for about five whole minutes. All the while, when I was shouting at the top of my lungs, she was sedately standing and staring into my eyes, unfazed, unaffected. At the end of my loud rant, she didnt say a word. He was standing two steps behind her. He stepped up in front of me and said, "If you want to change partners, go ahead, I don't mind being with anyone." The first thought that came into my head was, "He just doesn't want to be with the class nerd so he used my anger as a clever cover to make himself look gracious. Ugh! I cant stand him".
The quiz in itself was a blur. I was paired with my best friend and we didn't get through to the final on-stage round. We decided to stay back and watch the finals. To my astonishment, his team made it through the prelims. I attributed their success to his partner, who was known for his quizzing talents. As I watched the progress of the quiz, my shock grew to amazement and finally to utter disbelief as he was answering most of the questions. The mind-numbing part came during the final round, a solo rapid-fire. He got up and confidently, without his voice quavering even once, answered all seven questions correctly and won the quiz for our school by a whooping 65 points. Stunned, i rose from the audience ready to leave. That was when our student co-ordinator said. "He is a national-level quizzer, a top ranker in school and a really nice person. If you had only given him a chance, you would have known that, and I wouldn't be telling you this here today, but congratulating you on your success in the quiz."
Thats when i realized that I'd had it all wrong, people can't be grouped, because they're just too diverse. Each person is different from the other. Prejudice and misconceptions are all that one has from classifying the way i had. I sure learnt my lesson. Today, we're good friends and we've even laughed about this whole incident, but it doesn't stop me from regretting, from saying "What if..."
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Realisation
(Blogger's Note: This isn't some heated, spirited opinion on some world issue its just a recounting of what has happened in the past few months in 11 Science, FAPS and what has now, hopefully, different. After a long time, its just about normal life.)
Realisation. Reawakening or just Awakening! Understanding that something that you thought was right was actually not as right as you thought it was. Actually, a few things have happened that caused this train of thought in my mind.
Firstly, there was a story that I heard. "A toad lived in a well. It had never left the well. One day, a toad from outside the well visited this toad. It said, "You should see the outside world. It is...". But the first toad cut in, "OUTSIDE WORLD! What outside world??"" Okay, maybe the story was a little different, with a little more detail and whatever... but the essence is the same. The point of the story is that the first toad was so consumed in his own little well, that he actually believed that the entire world constituted just the tiny well!!! now that toad needs some perspective!!
Secondly, I've realised that I've been blaming my classmates for a lot of things recently. Like, I've been saying that they've retreated into a shell, and that they weren't letting anyone in and that noone could relate to any of them in a group. And I did believe that that was the problem - THEM. But then, I sat down and thought and deliberated and considered the situation.... OKay! NO i didn't. Realisation just struck me. And you'll be surprised to find out when! During the parent teacher meeting, something just changed. Suddenly, it didnt seem like their fault anymore, but mine. then I felt that I was being too hard on myself, it wasn't all my fault, but at the same time it wasn't all theirs. It was shared. I mean, I dindt have enough time to try and get to know them as well as I would have liked and so those guys decided to stick to whom they knew best.
Also, I've realised another very important thing. At the beginning of the year (the academic year, that is), within like a week, most of us came to the conclusion that this would be the best class ever, and our best year ever. That was based on what seniors had told us, about 11th and 12th being the best ever in your whole school life. So naturally, our expecations were high. And also, the first week of 11th was like this - no serious work, all fun! So we did tend to see only the carefree. fun-loving side of our new classmates. We did tend to compare the new classmates with our former clasmates, in my class 10 A guys and girls. But by the end of the first week, I for one was sure that this was definately gonna be the best time ever.
Infact, it was like that. What with free-period entire-class volleyball matches and PT preiod football match (yes! they actually let us GIRLS play!!) and afetr school bet-matches (sssh! thats a secret) for which we were 'coach', 'cheerleaders' and so on...
Things went bad just before the first term exams. the ban on staying after school and going down in free periods was the beginning. We had no "class time". We were all too pre-occupied with exams to even think about anything else! But somehow the guys found time for each other. Whether it was "gossip sessions" at one's house or pool somewhere else, they still 'bonded'. We never noticed anything until after the exams. When the guys just seemed to disappear, and we began to feel out-of-the-loop. A rift was created. It was going to be hard to bridge. We did try, but the gap was too far. I didnt realize that criticism and blaming wasn't going to help! Because thats just what i did. And now I feel really bad. But i never realised then. We managed to talk sense into a few of them, but they were still unapproachable in a group. I was on a verge of "I was so wrong. The only thing I know for sure now is that my hopes of this being the best year ever were all down the drain".
Thats when the above-stated realisation happened. And now, just yesterday, I told my best friend in the group and in my eyes "leader" of the gang that i was so wrong, and that both of us needed a new chance to forget whatever wierdness has happened. And he sounded so thankful that it made me wonder if I had been overly judgemental and too quick to condemn? I really dont know. All I know is that I want to see the individuality in those guys again. I want to be able to talk to each of them as individuals and not try in vain to get their attention but screaming and shouting! I have lowered my expectations, maybe this wont be the best year ever, but I can make it good. All I need, is a little help from my friends.
Realisation. Reawakening or just Awakening! Understanding that something that you thought was right was actually not as right as you thought it was. Actually, a few things have happened that caused this train of thought in my mind.
Firstly, there was a story that I heard. "A toad lived in a well. It had never left the well. One day, a toad from outside the well visited this toad. It said, "You should see the outside world. It is...". But the first toad cut in, "OUTSIDE WORLD! What outside world??"" Okay, maybe the story was a little different, with a little more detail and whatever... but the essence is the same. The point of the story is that the first toad was so consumed in his own little well, that he actually believed that the entire world constituted just the tiny well!!! now that toad needs some perspective!!
Secondly, I've realised that I've been blaming my classmates for a lot of things recently. Like, I've been saying that they've retreated into a shell, and that they weren't letting anyone in and that noone could relate to any of them in a group. And I did believe that that was the problem - THEM. But then, I sat down and thought and deliberated and considered the situation.... OKay! NO i didn't. Realisation just struck me. And you'll be surprised to find out when! During the parent teacher meeting, something just changed. Suddenly, it didnt seem like their fault anymore, but mine. then I felt that I was being too hard on myself, it wasn't all my fault, but at the same time it wasn't all theirs. It was shared. I mean, I dindt have enough time to try and get to know them as well as I would have liked and so those guys decided to stick to whom they knew best.
Also, I've realised another very important thing. At the beginning of the year (the academic year, that is), within like a week, most of us came to the conclusion that this would be the best class ever, and our best year ever. That was based on what seniors had told us, about 11th and 12th being the best ever in your whole school life. So naturally, our expecations were high. And also, the first week of 11th was like this - no serious work, all fun! So we did tend to see only the carefree. fun-loving side of our new classmates. We did tend to compare the new classmates with our former clasmates, in my class 10 A guys and girls. But by the end of the first week, I for one was sure that this was definately gonna be the best time ever.
Infact, it was like that. What with free-period entire-class volleyball matches and PT preiod football match (yes! they actually let us GIRLS play!!) and afetr school bet-matches (sssh! thats a secret) for which we were 'coach', 'cheerleaders' and so on...
Things went bad just before the first term exams. the ban on staying after school and going down in free periods was the beginning. We had no "class time". We were all too pre-occupied with exams to even think about anything else! But somehow the guys found time for each other. Whether it was "gossip sessions" at one's house or pool somewhere else, they still 'bonded'. We never noticed anything until after the exams. When the guys just seemed to disappear, and we began to feel out-of-the-loop. A rift was created. It was going to be hard to bridge. We did try, but the gap was too far. I didnt realize that criticism and blaming wasn't going to help! Because thats just what i did. And now I feel really bad. But i never realised then. We managed to talk sense into a few of them, but they were still unapproachable in a group. I was on a verge of "I was so wrong. The only thing I know for sure now is that my hopes of this being the best year ever were all down the drain".
Thats when the above-stated realisation happened. And now, just yesterday, I told my best friend in the group and in my eyes "leader" of the gang that i was so wrong, and that both of us needed a new chance to forget whatever wierdness has happened. And he sounded so thankful that it made me wonder if I had been overly judgemental and too quick to condemn? I really dont know. All I know is that I want to see the individuality in those guys again. I want to be able to talk to each of them as individuals and not try in vain to get their attention but screaming and shouting! I have lowered my expectations, maybe this wont be the best year ever, but I can make it good. All I need, is a little help from my friends.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Blogger's note:
Hehe! I guess, at the end of it, it was just 9 posts. I swear, it seemed a lot more on the msn space!! Maybe it's less cos i didnt post abt 5 blog entries that were solely about Harry Potter, I didnt see the need!
I had thought that I wud copy and paste the entries like one each day but, now that you're all updated, thanks to ashu... The posts from now on will be fresh from the brain of the blogger to the eyes of the reader...
I had thought that I wud copy and paste the entries like one each day but, now that you're all updated, thanks to ashu... The posts from now on will be fresh from the brain of the blogger to the eyes of the reader...
Leisure
What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare
- W.H.Davies
Although this poem doesnt mention anything about having no time to talk to friends and make sure that friendships are fine, and no time to catch up with old, long-forgotten friends, and hows there's no time to relax and read a story book, or lazily lounge in front of the tv while munching on a home-made snack, or hows there's no time to just do NOTHING.
When did life become so hectic, why does there seem to be no time for the things that matter? Life was always good and full of time to do the fun things, to take care of the little things, and ensure that miniscule details are in place. It's very wierd, that when I was in the 10th std, with the board exams menacingly looming into a clear picture in the very near future I had enough time for everything, but now in the 11th where 12th std board exams are not even considered to be a part of the future, there's absolutly no time to do anything for pleasure, relaxation, or personal satisfaction. Okay, maybe there is a sort of satisfaction in falling alseep half-dead, so tired that just getting onto the bed was an effort, mind filled with what has to be done the next day, nightmares through the night about carefully planned things going horribly wrong, yet a feeling of something accomplished, something achieved, something completed. But I really don't think I'm at that stage. This is the kind of thing you would expect a 40-something, successful, 9 to 5 (or usually 9 to 9) working man (or woman) to say. Not a sweet-16, studying 9-5 (or generally not-at-all) studying girl to say...
Doesnt it sound odd to you that a girl my age who is supposed to having the most fun in life, has actually lost perspective on what fun is. In the sense that, I do have fun... a LOT of fun. But its not the fun times that remain in the mind. Its the tension, and someone screaming at you for something that DID go horribly wrong (like in the nightmare!), and apprehensions about what to do in life, and where we're going to be in 20 years. Was that the kind of life that you lived? (And in that statement i am referring to the 40-something, successful, 9 to 5 working men/women)
Is it present day pressures, responsibilties and global competition? Or is it just the normal "teenager-syndrome" where we feel that this is happening to only us? So has it really been this way for generations gone by. Is youth not youthful anymore, or has it never trully been that way?
One thing that I've always wondered is whether at the end of the day, I've affected anyone's life (in a good way!). Have I made anyone happier. Has anyone been proud of something I've done, been relieved that i've finally finished something that was waaaaaaaay overdue, been satisfied that i've done a job and done it well??? Aren't those the things that matter. Things that matter are things that are done for others and not things recieved from others. Atleast, that's my opinion.
In oneself, as in myself, and people like me... my peers, there has been a change. A major change. We can feel it in us, we can see it around us. But we can't pinpoint the reason for this change and when it actually occured or began to occur... we're not sure if its complete or not, cos we've seen change before and it does seem to be the only thing that is guaranteed to happen, like the famous quote "Change is the only constant thing", or something to that effect!! What is especially blurry about this, is the change. We, or atleast I, dont know exactly what has changed. I can feel the change, but i can define it. Does that make sense? I think I'm rambling. A few late-nights seem to have caught up with me!! so i should trudge off to bed... to the familiar feelings of dead-tiredness, mind-numbing tasks that must be done, nightmares, and feelings of accomplishment, achievement, completion....
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare
- W.H.Davies
Although this poem doesnt mention anything about having no time to talk to friends and make sure that friendships are fine, and no time to catch up with old, long-forgotten friends, and hows there's no time to relax and read a story book, or lazily lounge in front of the tv while munching on a home-made snack, or hows there's no time to just do NOTHING.
When did life become so hectic, why does there seem to be no time for the things that matter? Life was always good and full of time to do the fun things, to take care of the little things, and ensure that miniscule details are in place. It's very wierd, that when I was in the 10th std, with the board exams menacingly looming into a clear picture in the very near future I had enough time for everything, but now in the 11th where 12th std board exams are not even considered to be a part of the future, there's absolutly no time to do anything for pleasure, relaxation, or personal satisfaction. Okay, maybe there is a sort of satisfaction in falling alseep half-dead, so tired that just getting onto the bed was an effort, mind filled with what has to be done the next day, nightmares through the night about carefully planned things going horribly wrong, yet a feeling of something accomplished, something achieved, something completed. But I really don't think I'm at that stage. This is the kind of thing you would expect a 40-something, successful, 9 to 5 (or usually 9 to 9) working man (or woman) to say. Not a sweet-16, studying 9-5 (or generally not-at-all) studying girl to say...
Doesnt it sound odd to you that a girl my age who is supposed to having the most fun in life, has actually lost perspective on what fun is. In the sense that, I do have fun... a LOT of fun. But its not the fun times that remain in the mind. Its the tension, and someone screaming at you for something that DID go horribly wrong (like in the nightmare!), and apprehensions about what to do in life, and where we're going to be in 20 years. Was that the kind of life that you lived? (And in that statement i am referring to the 40-something, successful, 9 to 5 working men/women)
Is it present day pressures, responsibilties and global competition? Or is it just the normal "teenager-syndrome" where we feel that this is happening to only us? So has it really been this way for generations gone by. Is youth not youthful anymore, or has it never trully been that way?
One thing that I've always wondered is whether at the end of the day, I've affected anyone's life (in a good way!). Have I made anyone happier. Has anyone been proud of something I've done, been relieved that i've finally finished something that was waaaaaaaay overdue, been satisfied that i've done a job and done it well??? Aren't those the things that matter. Things that matter are things that are done for others and not things recieved from others. Atleast, that's my opinion.
In oneself, as in myself, and people like me... my peers, there has been a change. A major change. We can feel it in us, we can see it around us. But we can't pinpoint the reason for this change and when it actually occured or began to occur... we're not sure if its complete or not, cos we've seen change before and it does seem to be the only thing that is guaranteed to happen, like the famous quote "Change is the only constant thing", or something to that effect!! What is especially blurry about this, is the change. We, or atleast I, dont know exactly what has changed. I can feel the change, but i can define it. Does that make sense? I think I'm rambling. A few late-nights seem to have caught up with me!! so i should trudge off to bed... to the familiar feelings of dead-tiredness, mind-numbing tasks that must be done, nightmares, and feelings of accomplishment, achievement, completion....
Global Community
I was at this sort of lecture thing recently where this guy (who i shall not name for his sake!) was delivering a speech. The theme of the "program" (if it can be called that) was 'Welcoming the new generation' and the opening lines of the guy's speech were "The youth of today has been brought up wrong. They have no perception, all they have is someone else's perception". And this was basically what he said throughout his 25 minute long speech. I was surrounded by a group of like-minded friends (as in, like-minded to me!)... and we were fuming by the end of it. How could he condemn our generation... how could he generalize like that? He even said that we weren't patriotic and had no culture or tradition that our ancestors have had for generations. According to him, we see the world only through pre-prepared images, that is, the media ofcourse! So if we were shown another angle of some famous monument, say the Taj Mahal, we wouldn't be able to recognize it! and imagine all of this from a man who is part of the 'media world' himself!!!!!!!!
I went home, sat down, rationally thought about what he said, and still I didnt agree with a word. Okay, so maybe we're getting 'pre-prepared' pictures of the world. But frankly who cares, atleast we're getting SOME picture! I mean, i bet you he didnt know what the atmosphere, or the grand canyon looked like, excpet from pictures. Has he been to outer space and 'experienced' it himself. We look at the images we're given and form our own opinions, we're not dumb or anything! I bet you, he didnt have half the knowledge that we have of the world when he was our age? This is an age of technology where we find out what life would be like to live in China or Antarctica, sitting right here comfy in our homes... doesnt that increase, and not diminish, our perception...
And to my indignation, my mum agreed with this man. She said, yes! today's childrem are brought up wrong. "You do have no patriotism. Patriotism and everything, even charity, should start from the home. Do you guys show your love?". Oh! now that got me really fired up. Okay, so maybe we dont feel patriotic towards our nation, but we feel it towards the world. We feel a sense of belonging to this world, to the global community (yes! i've finally gotten to the point!). We dont worry about one particular country, we worry about the world. Does the older generation want us to care about only our home, our state and our nation?? Wont that create feelings of disunity. What about caring about OUR world? I know I do. And I know that makes me want to clean up the whole world, make the whole world a better place to live in and not just my house or my state or my nation! I care about MY world. Yes! maybe I'm selfish, maybe i care only for my benefit... but if caring selfishly about the whole world for MY benefit, benefits others, then why not?
We live in a world today where global untiy is of utmost importance. It is absolutely necessary that we feel united, not as Nations or Unions... but as one WORLD. If we have to solve problems like GLOBAL warming and GLOBAL climate change, then shouldnt we work as a GLOBAL community and not as national communities. Does it even make sense that we're trying to tackle such a massive problem without being united with the rest of the world, the only world we know. This isn't the 'Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy' where we can travel from here to some far away land where that land wont be destroyed, (because of aliens, or global warming, that's not the point!!)
Is it not necessary for this new generation, the youth, to pull up their socks and make up for their parents and ancestors' mistakes?? Is it not time that we accepted that we have a major responsibilty and that just concerts and campaigns are not going to help, that WE as one WORLD have to take up active action to save our earth.
If this is so, is not talk of patriotism for our nation and talk of 'I will die for my country' obsolete? Should it not be 'I will not die because of other's mistakes'?? (okay yea! that does sound wierd, but u get my point right??!?)...
Is it not time for us to refurbish our views on where we stand as people on this earth. Individual effort does count. But if as individuals we can do so much, imagine what we can do as one WORLD, one GLOBAL COMMUNITY??
(Well at the end of it, this sounded like one big debate... so i'm waiting for counter arguements... or arguements on my side!!)
member of the new generation advanced global community,
Kavya
(originally posted on September 11th)
I went home, sat down, rationally thought about what he said, and still I didnt agree with a word. Okay, so maybe we're getting 'pre-prepared' pictures of the world. But frankly who cares, atleast we're getting SOME picture! I mean, i bet you he didnt know what the atmosphere, or the grand canyon looked like, excpet from pictures. Has he been to outer space and 'experienced' it himself. We look at the images we're given and form our own opinions, we're not dumb or anything! I bet you, he didnt have half the knowledge that we have of the world when he was our age? This is an age of technology where we find out what life would be like to live in China or Antarctica, sitting right here comfy in our homes... doesnt that increase, and not diminish, our perception...
And to my indignation, my mum agreed with this man. She said, yes! today's childrem are brought up wrong. "You do have no patriotism. Patriotism and everything, even charity, should start from the home. Do you guys show your love?". Oh! now that got me really fired up. Okay, so maybe we dont feel patriotic towards our nation, but we feel it towards the world. We feel a sense of belonging to this world, to the global community (yes! i've finally gotten to the point!). We dont worry about one particular country, we worry about the world. Does the older generation want us to care about only our home, our state and our nation?? Wont that create feelings of disunity. What about caring about OUR world? I know I do. And I know that makes me want to clean up the whole world, make the whole world a better place to live in and not just my house or my state or my nation! I care about MY world. Yes! maybe I'm selfish, maybe i care only for my benefit... but if caring selfishly about the whole world for MY benefit, benefits others, then why not?
We live in a world today where global untiy is of utmost importance. It is absolutely necessary that we feel united, not as Nations or Unions... but as one WORLD. If we have to solve problems like GLOBAL warming and GLOBAL climate change, then shouldnt we work as a GLOBAL community and not as national communities. Does it even make sense that we're trying to tackle such a massive problem without being united with the rest of the world, the only world we know. This isn't the 'Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy' where we can travel from here to some far away land where that land wont be destroyed, (because of aliens, or global warming, that's not the point!!)
Is it not necessary for this new generation, the youth, to pull up their socks and make up for their parents and ancestors' mistakes?? Is it not time that we accepted that we have a major responsibilty and that just concerts and campaigns are not going to help, that WE as one WORLD have to take up active action to save our earth.
If this is so, is not talk of patriotism for our nation and talk of 'I will die for my country' obsolete? Should it not be 'I will not die because of other's mistakes'?? (okay yea! that does sound wierd, but u get my point right??!?)...
Is it not time for us to refurbish our views on where we stand as people on this earth. Individual effort does count. But if as individuals we can do so much, imagine what we can do as one WORLD, one GLOBAL COMMUNITY??
(Well at the end of it, this sounded like one big debate... so i'm waiting for counter arguements... or arguements on my side!!)
member of the new generation advanced global community,
Kavya
(originally posted on September 11th)
Trust
Doesn't it kill you when the person whom you trusted your biggets secret, betrays that trust? I wish all the people in the world who promise to keep something secret would keep it secret. The world would be such a better place to live in. No fights over "why did u tell her?" or "how could you do this to me?". No broken hearts, destroyed friendships. Life would be a whole lot easier, if people stuck to their word!
But i think i'm stuck in a world of fantasy, cos ofcourse, thats not gonna happen. There will be breaches of faith, there will be fights... but ultimately, there WILL be reconcilliation.
Faith and Trust mean the same thing to me! i dont know if the dictionary meaning is the same though! Life is impossible without these two. Even if a person vows to himself to not trust anyone ever again... the person will at some point in his life start trusting someone, atleast partly!
If there's absolute trust, there's no room for miscommunication and misunderstandings. There's no way you'll find out 4 years later that the reason he said he hated you may have been his mum. and if he had trusted you enuf, he wud have saved you all the pain, misery, tears and heartbreak! If only people said what they really wanted to say. If only nothing was left unsaid or undone! If only, people tolf the truth 99% of the time and saved the 1% lies for times when the truth would offend or upset. If only...
imagining a better world,
Kavya
(originally written on September 7th)
But i think i'm stuck in a world of fantasy, cos ofcourse, thats not gonna happen. There will be breaches of faith, there will be fights... but ultimately, there WILL be reconcilliation.
Faith and Trust mean the same thing to me! i dont know if the dictionary meaning is the same though! Life is impossible without these two. Even if a person vows to himself to not trust anyone ever again... the person will at some point in his life start trusting someone, atleast partly!
If there's absolute trust, there's no room for miscommunication and misunderstandings. There's no way you'll find out 4 years later that the reason he said he hated you may have been his mum. and if he had trusted you enuf, he wud have saved you all the pain, misery, tears and heartbreak! If only people said what they really wanted to say. If only nothing was left unsaid or undone! If only, people tolf the truth 99% of the time and saved the 1% lies for times when the truth would offend or upset. If only...
imagining a better world,
Kavya
(originally written on September 7th)
Have you ever...
... wished that life were more simple?
... wanted to live life your way, but havent been able to?
... done something that u didnt wanna do just to please someone?
... found out that someone whom you thought was a very neutral person was actually quite
opinionated?
... wanted to speak your mind so badly, but never been able to articulate?
... wanted more chocolate?
... wanted to be able to eat as much as you want without becomming fat?
... wanted strawberries and cream?
... done something stupid, knowing it was stupid, and snapped out of the trance later?
... undergone such a major change, and realized you've changed only after the change was
complete?
... hated someone's new haircut?
... felt like wallowing in sorrow and self-pity?
... been scared to get something incase it might ruin something you already have?
... wanted to do so well, but have been too lazy to make an effort?
... loved life to the max, and wanted to embrace every single moment?
... had a heated argument and after all the shouts and screams, not known where it had started
or where it was going?
... thanked your stars for all you have?
... wished that you had more?
... hoped that an end would bring a new beginning?
... tried to act stupid, but realized that you werent acting?
... thanked your friends for everything they've done?
... thanked your family for everything they still do?
... envisioned your future?
... seen a bleak future ahead of you?
... tried not to lose your competitive egde, but have done so anyway?
... thought about life after death?
... felt sorry for all the people who have less than you?
... felt jealous of the people who have more that you?
... imagined life without comfort?
... tried to help those who dont have comfort?
... been told that you were more likable when you were a baby?
... been addicted to something so much that every time u try to get away, u just relapse.
... wanted so badly to break away, but have not known what was addicting u in the first place?
... been misunderstood and misjudged?
... had rumours been spread about you that you never even knew about?
... liked someone for how they look and then been scolded by a friend and only then realised how
shallow you'd been?
... judged someone too soon and regretted it later?
... wanted to read more, but have had no time?
... wanted to write more, but have had no time?
(originally written on August 26th: I was just in a wierd mood!)
... wanted to live life your way, but havent been able to?
... done something that u didnt wanna do just to please someone?
... found out that someone whom you thought was a very neutral person was actually quite
opinionated?
... wanted to speak your mind so badly, but never been able to articulate?
... wanted more chocolate?
... wanted to be able to eat as much as you want without becomming fat?
... wanted strawberries and cream?
... done something stupid, knowing it was stupid, and snapped out of the trance later?
... undergone such a major change, and realized you've changed only after the change was
complete?
... hated someone's new haircut?
... felt like wallowing in sorrow and self-pity?
... been scared to get something incase it might ruin something you already have?
... wanted to do so well, but have been too lazy to make an effort?
... loved life to the max, and wanted to embrace every single moment?
... had a heated argument and after all the shouts and screams, not known where it had started
or where it was going?
... thanked your stars for all you have?
... wished that you had more?
... hoped that an end would bring a new beginning?
... tried to act stupid, but realized that you werent acting?
... thanked your friends for everything they've done?
... thanked your family for everything they still do?
... envisioned your future?
... seen a bleak future ahead of you?
... tried not to lose your competitive egde, but have done so anyway?
... thought about life after death?
... felt sorry for all the people who have less than you?
... felt jealous of the people who have more that you?
... imagined life without comfort?
... tried to help those who dont have comfort?
... been told that you were more likable when you were a baby?
... been addicted to something so much that every time u try to get away, u just relapse.
... wanted so badly to break away, but have not known what was addicting u in the first place?
... been misunderstood and misjudged?
... had rumours been spread about you that you never even knew about?
... liked someone for how they look and then been scolded by a friend and only then realised how
shallow you'd been?
... judged someone too soon and regretted it later?
... wanted to read more, but have had no time?
... wanted to write more, but have had no time?
(originally written on August 26th: I was just in a wierd mood!)
Anorexia
(originally posted on August 13th. I must explain that the issue is not with me. And the problem has not been resolved, but for the sake of continuity, i post it here)
Well, I was reading "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Tough Stuff" and there was a segment on eating disorders. That got me thinking. Why do people not want to eat? I mean, doenst it sound ridiculous, to normal people like me and you. But its horrible that there are people who think they should starve, or worse, throw up, to be thin. ANd there are some people who are basically repulsed by the sight of food. It saddens me that people's lives can be ruined by just not being able to eat food! I think, all of these people need proffesional help... though a lot of them dont know it, and a few know it but cant get it for some reason or the other. and i was wondering, do we have counsellors and stuff for this sort of thing in India, more specifically in b'lore. Cos in all stories based in the US there's always a counsellor and a nutritionist and a gazillion other ppl! but what about here!
Information is wealth,
Kavya
p.s- opinion needed: if u know a person who's anorexic, would you talk to them about it? confrontation?
Well, I was reading "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Tough Stuff" and there was a segment on eating disorders. That got me thinking. Why do people not want to eat? I mean, doenst it sound ridiculous, to normal people like me and you. But its horrible that there are people who think they should starve, or worse, throw up, to be thin. ANd there are some people who are basically repulsed by the sight of food. It saddens me that people's lives can be ruined by just not being able to eat food! I think, all of these people need proffesional help... though a lot of them dont know it, and a few know it but cant get it for some reason or the other. and i was wondering, do we have counsellors and stuff for this sort of thing in India, more specifically in b'lore. Cos in all stories based in the US there's always a counsellor and a nutritionist and a gazillion other ppl! but what about here!
Information is wealth,
Kavya
p.s- opinion needed: if u know a person who's anorexic, would you talk to them about it? confrontation?
Random Thoughts
(originally posted on August 4th)
Isn't it stupid that when a person bangs his/her foot against, say, a table, and we say "Gawd! be careful!" Isn't it dumb! I mean, the person's already hurt herself, whats the point of saying be careful??
Music is food for the soul! When there's a fight in the house, however minor, I go to the comp or the mp3 player for solace, my sis to her music edition phone. My mum either sings or plugs in the walkman, my dad watches Sun Music on tv. Amazing how we all look for music after some particularly distressing time! Music... isn't it divine?
Why do friends stop being friends! Dont they realize that not only are the depriving themselves of something beautiful, but also hurting the ones that love them both? Mutual friends are stuck inbetween trying to figure out whom to talk to and spend time with. Scared if talking to one will offend the other. Imagine the predicament of one who's friends with one and likes the other! The person feels guilty that liking one will hurt the other since the other has made it clear that the liked one is nothing but crap to that person! Ugh! silly trivial matters that get blown out of proportion! why cant they be forgotten, apologies be said, egos put away and life got back onto the right track? What about if someone feels so guilty for being the indirect cause of the fight?
Rain is so beautiful, i love the monsoon. It's such a romantic season! Amazing to just sit in bed with the fan on and the blankets over you, reading your favourite book, preferably a thriller or a Jeffrey Archer and drinking hot milk with a few goodday biscuits (lays, chips or chocolate works too!). Listening to the rain in the background and just picturing the beauty of it! And then going out into the balcony and seeing the beauty in reality! So refereshing, like taking a really good long warm soothing shower! Except, not for the body but for the mind...
Housework is such a pain!
Studying requires a mindset, that I currently lack!
Wishes dont always come true but sometimes they do!
Life is wierd! Dont you think so?
Just thinking,
Kavya
Isn't it stupid that when a person bangs his/her foot against, say, a table, and we say "Gawd! be careful!" Isn't it dumb! I mean, the person's already hurt herself, whats the point of saying be careful??
Music is food for the soul! When there's a fight in the house, however minor, I go to the comp or the mp3 player for solace, my sis to her music edition phone. My mum either sings or plugs in the walkman, my dad watches Sun Music on tv. Amazing how we all look for music after some particularly distressing time! Music... isn't it divine?
Why do friends stop being friends! Dont they realize that not only are the depriving themselves of something beautiful, but also hurting the ones that love them both? Mutual friends are stuck inbetween trying to figure out whom to talk to and spend time with. Scared if talking to one will offend the other. Imagine the predicament of one who's friends with one and likes the other! The person feels guilty that liking one will hurt the other since the other has made it clear that the liked one is nothing but crap to that person! Ugh! silly trivial matters that get blown out of proportion! why cant they be forgotten, apologies be said, egos put away and life got back onto the right track? What about if someone feels so guilty for being the indirect cause of the fight?
Rain is so beautiful, i love the monsoon. It's such a romantic season! Amazing to just sit in bed with the fan on and the blankets over you, reading your favourite book, preferably a thriller or a Jeffrey Archer and drinking hot milk with a few goodday biscuits (lays, chips or chocolate works too!). Listening to the rain in the background and just picturing the beauty of it! And then going out into the balcony and seeing the beauty in reality! So refereshing, like taking a really good long warm soothing shower! Except, not for the body but for the mind...
Housework is such a pain!
Studying requires a mindset, that I currently lack!
Wishes dont always come true but sometimes they do!
Life is wierd! Dont you think so?
Just thinking,
Kavya
Gossip, Misconceptions
(This was originally posted on July 29th)
It's sad how a friendship can sour due to miscommunication, rumours and misplaced trust! Rumous, spread by usless people in the name of gossip to such people who are in my terminology "eternally gossip-hungry", can cause such utter confusion that a long-standing friendship can just break!
You think i'm talking about gossiping girls, well, you're sadly mistaken. Guys are the ones who are so desperate to stay in the loop that they'll believe anything they're told. Atleast the girls are sensible, and know enough to spread the true rumours! okay fine, maybe not true but atleast not hurtful!
Hmmmm.... "A true friendship should last the trial of any hardship", "A true friendship is not bothered by comments, false stories and the like". Maybe, theoretically, but is it so, practically? I dont think so. As much as we may say that we couldnt care less about what other people think, we do care! because we live in society and unfortunately for us we have a need to be accepted!
This truly sucks. I would never want to lose a friend just because some jobless idiot decided to make up a story, and an even more jobless idiot heard the story and decided to pass it on to his friends! In my opinion, this is the silliest way to forgo a friendship!
Gossip is dangerous, whether its true or not, it can really hurt a person's feelings and scar him/her for life! be careful about what you say, think twice about who you are talking to!
Kavya
It's sad how a friendship can sour due to miscommunication, rumours and misplaced trust! Rumous, spread by usless people in the name of gossip to such people who are in my terminology "eternally gossip-hungry", can cause such utter confusion that a long-standing friendship can just break!
You think i'm talking about gossiping girls, well, you're sadly mistaken. Guys are the ones who are so desperate to stay in the loop that they'll believe anything they're told. Atleast the girls are sensible, and know enough to spread the true rumours! okay fine, maybe not true but atleast not hurtful!
Hmmmm.... "A true friendship should last the trial of any hardship", "A true friendship is not bothered by comments, false stories and the like". Maybe, theoretically, but is it so, practically? I dont think so. As much as we may say that we couldnt care less about what other people think, we do care! because we live in society and unfortunately for us we have a need to be accepted!
This truly sucks. I would never want to lose a friend just because some jobless idiot decided to make up a story, and an even more jobless idiot heard the story and decided to pass it on to his friends! In my opinion, this is the silliest way to forgo a friendship!
Gossip is dangerous, whether its true or not, it can really hurt a person's feelings and scar him/her for life! be careful about what you say, think twice about who you are talking to!
Kavya
Life as it Moves
Life! It just keeps moving doesnt it! I mean, it just seemed like yesterday that we started school and were getting to know our new classmates and already its nearly been two months and "newbies" aren't newbies anymore, infact, they're about as FAPSian as you (referring to onlyFAPSians obviously! ) or I. It seems like they've been there forever. "A class without them"- absurd is the thought!
Then there's a jolt back to the past. A close friend whom you haven't talked to since her birthday pops into school. She's been a FAPSian from the nursery till the 10th and is now in college. But she seems less FAPSian than our two-month-old classmate. She's still the same. Okay, maybe there's a little more flesh in the face but then, maybe thats there in me too! We reminisce while looking at our old classroom and then I vividly describe to her my classmates and their little quirks. The fun-times of the past are compared to the fun-times of the present. It is then realized that those seemingly eternal classmates were infact not classmates just a few months ago!
Amazing how the mind adapts! Contact is lost so easily. Promises made seem futile. "But he never calls, why should I" or "I was way too busy settling down so i had no time to call her" - frequent excuses. But doesn't it seems silly in the end. I mean, we promised to never lose touch. We wrote in everyone's slam book and on their uniforms and what not - "If you lose touch, I will kill you". But well, it is in the end a two-way street. One can make continuous effort only if the other does too.
What really do we do with spare time? Talk to friends on the phone. Those very friends who we see in school everyday. Doesn't it make more sense to call some old friend who we havent talked to in a few months? But thats not how we function, our thinking is at a totally different wavelength.
Well, atleast a call on birthdays is mandatory, but when one forgets that, then you know that you've reached the end of the line, it's time to turn back and get onto a right route or take the plunge, leave the past behind!
angry at myself,
Kavya
p.s- the "we"'s and "you"'s used here mainly refer to me! It just sounds nicer when read in plural!!
(p.p.s- This was originally written on July 27th)
Then there's a jolt back to the past. A close friend whom you haven't talked to since her birthday pops into school. She's been a FAPSian from the nursery till the 10th and is now in college. But she seems less FAPSian than our two-month-old classmate. She's still the same. Okay, maybe there's a little more flesh in the face but then, maybe thats there in me too! We reminisce while looking at our old classroom and then I vividly describe to her my classmates and their little quirks. The fun-times of the past are compared to the fun-times of the present. It is then realized that those seemingly eternal classmates were infact not classmates just a few months ago!
Amazing how the mind adapts! Contact is lost so easily. Promises made seem futile. "But he never calls, why should I" or "I was way too busy settling down so i had no time to call her" - frequent excuses. But doesn't it seems silly in the end. I mean, we promised to never lose touch. We wrote in everyone's slam book and on their uniforms and what not - "If you lose touch, I will kill you". But well, it is in the end a two-way street. One can make continuous effort only if the other does too.
What really do we do with spare time? Talk to friends on the phone. Those very friends who we see in school everyday. Doesn't it make more sense to call some old friend who we havent talked to in a few months? But thats not how we function, our thinking is at a totally different wavelength.
Well, atleast a call on birthdays is mandatory, but when one forgets that, then you know that you've reached the end of the line, it's time to turn back and get onto a right route or take the plunge, leave the past behind!
angry at myself,
Kavya
p.s- the "we"'s and "you"'s used here mainly refer to me! It just sounds nicer when read in plural!!
(p.p.s- This was originally written on July 27th)
The Introduction
Actually, i already have a blog. But that is associated with msn, so only those who are on msn can view that. One of my friends Ashwin, heard or rather read about my blog through my sister and wanted to read what I had written. When he heard that it was not on blogspot... he was all... "shift to blogspot ". So I thought, "Hey! why not!", In the sense that I'm not exactly SHIFTING here, more like, i now have two blogs for two sets of readers (though the posts will be the same).
I have posted a lot on my msn blog over a period of time, so initially I plan to just repost those entries here, because a lot of that gives a sort of insight into my life and my world and it'll be like a continuity.
Most of my entries are based on things happening either in my life or a friend's. They may sound cryptic, because I don't mention names, but the feelings and thoughts are plain to see.
I love comments by the way, so even if you dont have anything to say, just say hi! chumma... for fun!!
I have posted a lot on my msn blog over a period of time, so initially I plan to just repost those entries here, because a lot of that gives a sort of insight into my life and my world and it'll be like a continuity.
Most of my entries are based on things happening either in my life or a friend's. They may sound cryptic, because I don't mention names, but the feelings and thoughts are plain to see.
I love comments by the way, so even if you dont have anything to say, just say hi! chumma... for fun!!
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