Leisure

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:
No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:
No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:
No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:
No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?
A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare
- W.H.Davies

Although this poem doesnt mention anything about having no time to talk to friends and make sure that friendships are fine, and no time to catch up with old, long-forgotten friends, and hows there's no time to relax and read a story book, or lazily lounge in front of the tv while munching on a home-made snack, or hows there's no time to just do NOTHING.

When did life become so hectic, why does there seem to be no time for the things that matter? Life was always good and full of time to do the fun things, to take care of the little things, and ensure that miniscule details are in place. It's very wierd, that when I was in the 10th std, with the board exams menacingly looming into a clear picture in the very near future I had enough time for everything, but now in the 11th where 12th std board exams are not even considered to be a part of the future, there's absolutly no time to do anything for pleasure, relaxation, or personal satisfaction. Okay, maybe there is a sort of satisfaction in falling alseep half-dead, so tired that just getting onto the bed was an effort, mind filled with what has to be done the next day, nightmares through the night about carefully planned things going horribly wrong, yet a feeling of something accomplished, something achieved, something completed. But I really don't think I'm at that stage. This is the kind of thing you would expect a 40-something, successful, 9 to 5 (or usually 9 to 9) working man (or woman) to say. Not a sweet-16, studying 9-5 (or generally not-at-all) studying girl to say...

Doesnt it sound odd to you that a girl my age who is supposed to having the most fun in life, has actually lost perspective on what fun is. In the sense that, I do have fun... a LOT of fun. But its not the fun times that remain in the mind. Its the tension, and someone screaming at you for something that DID go horribly wrong (like in the nightmare!), and apprehensions about what to do in life, and where we're going to be in 20 years. Was that the kind of life that you lived? (And in that statement i am referring to the 40-something, successful, 9 to 5 working men/women)

Is it present day pressures, responsibilties and global competition? Or is it just the normal "teenager-syndrome" where we feel that this is happening to only us? So has it really been this way for generations gone by. Is youth not youthful anymore, or has it never trully been that way?

One thing that I've always wondered is whether at the end of the day, I've affected anyone's life (in a good way!). Have I made anyone happier. Has anyone been proud of something I've done, been relieved that i've finally finished something that was waaaaaaaay overdue, been satisfied that i've done a job and done it well??? Aren't those the things that matter. Things that matter are things that are done for others and not things recieved from others. Atleast, that's my opinion.

In oneself, as in myself, and people like me... my peers, there has been a change. A major change. We can feel it in us, we can see it around us. But we can't pinpoint the reason for this change and when it actually occured or began to occur... we're not sure if its complete or not, cos we've seen change before and it does seem to be the only thing that is guaranteed to happen, like the famous quote "Change is the only constant thing", or something to that effect!! What is especially blurry about this, is the change. We, or atleast I, dont know exactly what has changed. I can feel the change, but i can define it. Does that make sense? I think I'm rambling. A few late-nights seem to have caught up with me!! so i should trudge off to bed... to the familiar feelings of dead-tiredness, mind-numbing tasks that must be done, nightmares, and feelings of accomplishment, achievement, completion....